It is our pleasure to welcome, first time author, Joseph Lance Tonlet to 3 Chicks After Dark! Joseph is here to talk about his debut novel, Grif’s Toy and the kink within it’s pages. Reviews are flooding in, Grif’s Toy is worthy of every 5 Star review it is receiving (here’s ours).
Without further delay, Joseph Lance Tonlet!
Humiliation is something we’ve all experienced at one time or another. Merriam Webster’s definition of humiliate is: “to reduce to a lower position in one’s own eyes or others’ eyes.” Being on the receiving end of humiliation is rarely a good thing and can leave us feeling afraid, or angry, or venerable. But what about sexual humiliation (in the form of denigration) as a kink?
Years ago I realized denigration, specifically Small Penis Humiliation (SPH), during sex served as major source of arousal for me—long before I even knew such a kink existed. Dr. Hernando Chaves, writing for the site askmen.com, says this about SPH: “…small penis humiliation, is a form of degradation play that uses eroticized shame for arousal. We often think of shame as a bad or negative feeling, but shame can have many different faces and elicit different responses within the body. For men, penis size is a touchy subject, and one filled with challenges to masculinity and confidence.” He goes onto say that, for some men, SPH offers not only a source of arousal but also one of empowerment—a way for lesser endowed men to own and “turn the tables from fear and insecurity to power and control.”
Kinks of any sort can be difficult to understand and come to terms with. Indeed, many of us may ask ourselves things like: “Why do I like this?” or “Doesn’t this make me weird?” Fortunately, the Internet, with its pool of wisdom and answers *wink*, is now at nearly everyone’s fingertips. The key, at least for me, was embracing that which made me different—that which aroused me. Having a partner who also embraced my kinks was nothing short of liberating.
Grif, one of the main characters of Grif’s Toy, is on a journey of self-discovery. This journey challenges him to not only embrace his kinks, but to ask himself whether he’ll be able to open himself up to the possibility of love. After all, is there any more enjoyable journey than one filled with kinky sex and love? *grins*
Grif believes he’ll live his life as a virgin. After all, who would want him? How could anyone find him, a guy who came with less than man-sized equipment, worthy of their love?
What he hadn’t counted on were the two amazing men who would change his life. After entering college, he meets Tate, his fun-loving, roommate. While years later, with Tate now just a memory, Wes, a handsome, rugged ex-marine who runs his own security firm enters his life.
Both men lead Grif through a twisted mesh of pleasure, pain, and denial, as they force him to see his value, despite his size and insecurities.
“Let’s take a shower,” Wes said after we’d lain there kissing for what seemed like hours. I never dreamt kissing could be so fucking awesome.
“Um, Wes,” I said hesitantly. There was no way I was getting into a shower, or any other place which required I get naked with him.
“You can keep your jock on, babe, right? I mean, you went swimming in it today, didn’t you?”
Another deep kiss—tongues gently stroking one another, lips nibbling, he even licked my closed eyelids at one point—which caused me to completely forget what we’d been talking about.
“Come on, Grif…I promise it’ll be good,” he said so sincerely I knew there wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to say no.
“Okay, but you promise—,”
“The promise is in place until the day you ask me to either touch or to look…and that day will come. So, honestly, the only thing you have to ask yourself is if you trust me yet. And if today isn’t the day—the day to trust me enough not to need a re-promise,” he paused to rub a thumb over my eyebrow, “then ask away…as many times as you need to, I don’t mind. I’ll never intentionally mislead or lie to you.”
The things he said to me sometimes—how he knew exactly what I needed to hear— it made me feel so special, so wanted.
I nodded. “Yes, okay. I’m still scared…but…I find myself so willing to take chances with you. Chances I’ve never taken—or even thought of taking—with anyone else, and it surprises me.” Laughing at the irony of what I was about to say next, “And realizing I’m willing to take those chances also scares me.”
As he looked into my eyes, his thumb left my brow and ran gently across my bottom lip, “And, tell me if I’m wrong, but the fear I might somehow see Junior makes you even
harder, doesn’t it?”
The mischievous thumb moved lower, hovered just above one of my nipples, and barely grazed it—over and over.
I moaned with the teasing.
I cautiously nodded my head. “I’ve never been able to admit that to anyone, but yes, it does. As much as I feared it—did everything in my power to ensure that it never happened—I desperately wanted to somehow be exposed to one of the Grindr dudes and have him….” I broke off. I only had so much courage…could only share so much.
He picked up my thought. “And have him humiliate you?”
I nodded, but didn’t speak.
“Grif…,” he mildly chastised.
I summoned up the courage to give him the words he wanted. “Yes, Wes. That’s what I wanted. But there’s no way I’d ever trust one of those strangers to…,” I shook my head—a bit more vehemently than I had intended.
He flopped over on his back, looked up at the ceiling, and smiled as widely as I’d ever seen him smile.
Turning his head toward me with a naughty grin, “Grif, I fucking promise you we’re gonna have the best time—the fucking best. It may be weeks from now, or even months, but the day will come when we’ll both be ready for me to give you something only someone you trust implicitly can. And please, understand that just knowing it will happen—eventually—is all I could’ve ever hoped for; love and the occasional darkness.”
“Love?” I managed to eek out.
“Oh, without a doubt. I already know I’m gonna love you, and you’re gonna love me. The question of ‘darkness’ was really the only thing I was a bit uncertain about. But now…” And he grinned like Charlie holding a fucking Golden Ticket.
Meet the author:
Joseph is a born and raised Southern Californian—with a twenty-year stint of living in the Midwest. He loves the laid-back lifestyle of San Diego and considers himself lucky to live where people dream of vacationing.
A lifelong reader of m/m fiction, he began his writing career one night sitting at his MacBook and has never looked back. He writes to bring the characters he dreams about to life.
Connect with the author:
Personal Website: http://www.josephlancetonlet.com
Google Plus: https://plus.google.com/+JosephLanceTonletAuthor
Twitter (adult content): https://twitter.com/JosephLTonlet
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